so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
