I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
