I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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