I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
