My room smells like vodka and shame
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize