I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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