I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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