those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
