I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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