So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
