Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
