I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
