do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
