My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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