4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
