she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
