I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
