More tranny stories later!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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