A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
