I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
