Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i've created a new STD.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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