Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
