Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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