I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
