Its about making memories worth repressing
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Come on in and take your pants off
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