I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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