vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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