Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All the doctor said was why
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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