i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
