dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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