just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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