Rock
Scissors
Fuck
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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