I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
