I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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