I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
