she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
