haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
