Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
