Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
