hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
a search helicopter?!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
