i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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