if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
