Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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