my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
