A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
