We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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