Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
