we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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