I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
