Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
